061. How to Partner Well as a Stepparent — Even if You Feel Stuck on the Outside (Part 1)
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Stepparents, you want to be a part of the team — in your marriage and in your family.
But it can often feel like you're stuck on the outside of the "allegiance" that's formed between your spouse and his or her kids. And that can be maddening.
It's when the frustration, hurt, or anger sets in (from feeling like an outsider) that you end up in the danger zone…
…the danger zone allowing "easy wrong turns" to dictate your assumptions and attitudes. It's these easy wrong turns that actually rob you of the teamwork and unity you're actually looking for.
Believe it or not, there are some simple things you can do to positively influence that parent-child allegiance happening between your spouse and their kids. And each one starts with making sure your mindset is in the right place.
I (Mike) know how hard this can be, having spent several seasons feeling like Kim and I would never be able to partner well together. It seemed like no matter what I said or did, I was stuck on the outside of her allegiance to her daughter.
Honestly, it ticked me off. But over time, I discovered that my mindset and attitude were keeping me stuck. And when I tweaked my perspectives just a little bit, I started showing up better and Kim actually started to respond to me differently.
If you can relate to any of this, I can't wait for you to join us for the next couple of episodes! Why? Because we're going to share the most critical shifts I had to make in my mindset over the years — and we've seen these same mindset shifts help the stepparents we've coached to experience the teamwork they've been looking for all along.
Don't wait — let's dive into the episode…
You'll Discover:
"Easy Wrong Turns" stepparents tend to make that rob them of the unity they're really looking for
How unrealistic expectations can force your partner into feeling like they have to choose between you and their kids
The difference between labeling behavior and labeling character — and why getting it wrong leaves you feeling hopeless
How easy it is for stepparents to jump into an authoritarian parenting style and why it doesn’t work
Resources from this Episode:
Episode 26: Are You Stuck in a "Competition" with Your Step Kids?
Episode 21: What is the Stranded Stranger & Trapped Teammate Experience?
Episode 40: Uncover the Unspoken Feelings of Kids in Blended Families
Episode 37: Why do Kids Struggle to Accept Their Stepparent?
Episode 4: Can You Overcome Your Parenting Style Differences?
Blog: How to Parent as a Team and Steer Clear of Power Struggles
Ready for personalized support? Schedule your free coaching call
We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession
Feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to start?
With so many episodes available here on the show, it might feel a bit overwhelming to find the topics that matter most to you. That's why we've created the Blended Family Breakthrough Quiz which will direct you to the most impactful episodes that pertain to you personally.
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