041. Are you unintentionally putting your kids in the middle?
More ways to listen:
You want your kids to experience freedom from stress and concern as they move between their two homes. You want them to be able to love both of their parents — without feeling like there are strings attached.
To make sure that's what your kids experience, you're probably very careful about the way you talk about your Ex when the kids are around…
…but are you sure you're not unintentionally putting them in the middle, even in subtle ways?
It can be tough to know when and what to say about an Ex when your kids are around. You can't read their mind or really understand how they're internalizing a conversation - or how they'll respond to your emotional reactions.
And most of us make some common unintentional mistakes — even when we have the best of intentions.
That's what this episode is all about. We'll help you understand 2 of the most common conversational mistakes we can make that unintentionally put kids into a bind called Parental Allegiance.
And we'll help you think through how these mistakes might be present in your home.
You'll Discover:
What it's like for kids who are stuck in a Parental Allegiance
Why a Parental Allegiance bind is harmful to your kids and your relationship with them
The 2 unintentional mistakes parents and step-parents can make that feed into a Parental Allegiance
4 Questions you can ask yourself to determine if you're inadvertently creating a parental allegiance for your kids.
Resources from this Episode:
Episode 29 — What is a Loyalty Bind and What Can You Do About It?
Episode 6 — Are Your Kids Stuck in a 'Parental Allegiance' and What Can You Do About It?
Episode 7 — Toxic Exes and Hurting Kids - 5 Steps That Help
Episode 8 — Toxic Exes and Defiant Kids - A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander
We referenced this article while discussing Parentification: Your Child is not your Confidant
Ready for personalized support? Schedule your free coaching call
We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession
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With so many episodes available here on the show, it might feel a bit overwhelming to find the topics that matter most to you. That's why we've created the Blended Family Breakthrough Quiz which will direct you to the most impactful episodes that pertain to you personally.
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