008. Toxic Exes and Defiant Kids — A Simple Strategy Against Lies and Slander (Part 2)
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One of the most challenging seasons we experienced in our stepfamily journey was when my daughter suddenly turned against our family. And it was heartbreaking to learn that her change of heart toward our home was influenced by some exaggerations and lies that she heard from my Ex.
The reality is that you can't change your Ex (even though you might really want to!) You don't have control over what they say to the kids about you. And when negative comments escalate to slander, it's our kids that are hurt the most. They're often caught in the middle and confused about how to respond.
This isn't easy to navigate. Telling your kids what they should believe usually doesn't help — it could actually make things even harder for them.
Instead, we've discovered a way to help kids come to their own conclusions and uncover the truth for themselves. And you can do this too — without challenging the Ex or putting the kids in the middle.
Listen to this week's episode where we'll share how we strategically shed light on the lies and diminished the toxic influence of my Ex.
Inside this Episode:
Toxic exes who are spreading slander or lies and it's impacting the kids
Kids who have a negative attitude, behaving defiantly or acting out in other ways
A simple strategy to help kids focus their mindset on the truth rather than an Ex's lies or exaggerations: "Put a Pebble in their Shoe"
Understanding Kid's Perspectives: the importance of focusing your energy more on your kids' experience as opposed to your Toxic Ex's poor behavior.
Resources from this Episode:
Episode 7 — discover how to coach your kids through difficult emotions
Episode 6 — understanding Parental Allegiances
In Their Shoes: Helping Parents Understand and Connect with Children of Divorce by Lauren Reitsema
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