049. Should your highest priority be your marriage — or your kids?

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The question we're often asked is this:  Should my highest priority be my marriage or my kids?

If you're a bio-parent, you might be concerned about making sure that your kids are feeling secure and cared for — they've always been your priority and maybe you're wondering why that should change.

And if you're a step-parent, you probably entered into marriage thinking that you'd be at the top of your spouse's priority list and that you'd have a say in all the family's decisions.

This is exactly where we started out in our marriage and it didn't take long for both of us to experience frustration, confusion, and even anger!

Whenever I had to choose between what Mike wanted and what my daughter Annika wanted — it felt like I could never win.  Either Mike was going to feel like an outsider, or Annika was going to feel rejected.

But I discovered that choosing between them wasn't actually a choice I had to make…we found a different approach!

This is a big topic that's always complicated and sometimes controversial.  In this episode, we'll uncover the realities around why 'priority issues' are so tough for blended families. 

We'll also share how you can work as a united team to position your marriage as the foundation of your home while making sure the kids are getting everything they need to thrive.

You'll Discover:

  • How 'Relational Imbalance' impacts blended family priorities

  • Two opposite approaches to prioritizing that lead to disconnection and pain

  • Two big realities that blended family couples need to be aware of

  • How to work as a team to rebalance relationships, elevate your marriage and maintain stability for the kids

Resources from this Episode:

Ready for personalized support?  Schedule your free coaching call

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to start?

With so many episodes available here on the show, it might feel a bit overwhelming to find the topics that matter most to you.  That's why we've created the Blended Family Breakthrough Quiz which will direct you to the most impactful episodes that pertain to you personally.

Join our community

You don't need to navigate blended family life alone.  Join our supportive community where you'll connect directly with us and other couples just like you who are intentionally investing in healthy blending strategies.  Click the link to find out how to join: https://learning.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/blendingtogether

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Mike Anderson

I grew up in difficult stepfamily dynamics.  I have experienced life as a step-child, a step-sibling and a step-parent.  My stepfamily perspective combined with my expertise as a Professional Life Coach uniquely qualifies me to help you move forward in your stepfamily journey.

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050. How to Openly Communicate What You Really Want

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048. Introspective Questions That Help You Put Your Kids First [with Liza Gold]